Lol, so it would seem that some loyal members have continued to visit my blog even after my super long hiatus! Freeeaaaky. Anyways, I'm posting this 10 mins before New Year! (as of now). And I guess as people start making their new year resolutions, I should too!
1) I resolve to mug/study/slackless/usemytimemorewisely/domorework in the coming year! Well, duh, seeing that it's A lvl year, I'll be insane if I don't do that.
2) I resolve to talk to more people I don't know/talk more to people I know. (Well, it kinda happens every year naturally, but I guess I want it to be a more concious effort? Wait, it actually already is for a few years now, oh well, still counts, doesn't it?)
3) I resolve to be a better (temp) SL (if I'm chosen lah, since dunno why Mr Toh takes so long to decide/announce! zzZ)
4) I resolve to do BETTER in school! (Like get dean's list, but yeah right like real i'll get)
5) I resolve to get at least a SILVER in napfa next year. Well, at least so that I dun need to go to hell early. xD
6) I resolve to exercise more! (Its needed for no.5)
7) I resolve to practice piano more. (At least to pass dip lor, but aiya ionno, sometimes it's like, I lose steam, then no more motivation to practice)
8) I resolve to love my class+chorale more more more! (And of course talk to ppl more lah!)
9) I resolve to break all my new year resolutions! (Since most are kinda impossible anyway, and takes too much effort to maintain, and breaks are needed, right?)
Yeah, so for all the ppl who are expectantly waiting for my post, here it is xD. BTW HAPPY NEW YEAR! 12pm xDDD
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Look at the crowds!
Hmm, was kinda reading through Sean's blog, and thought that maybe i'll start posting about things that randomly pop up iin my mind, and have like some significance and/or importance to me...
Anyways, sigh, kinda agree with him about crowds lah. Like, hating crowds. But maybe I hate them for a different reason? Ionno. Sometimes when theres a big crowd of people, it just feels....oppressive. Suffocating. Like theres just no personal space, no way to hear your own thoughts, and it feels kinda like losing your identity... Its like how theres no "I" in a crowd, only "us" or "them". And I feel that it's cuz of that people start losing their minds... Like everyone starts reverting to their "herd mentality", and when one person does a stupid thing, the rest somehow are all brainless and start to follow... But what can I say? Guess I'm guilty of that once in a while too.
Guess another reason is just cuz of my own personality? Haha, like, I guess I'm just predisposed not to like interacting in like super large social settings where got lots of people one, and like I guess I really do prefer interacting in a super small group setting...but guess if you're reading this you already know that x]. But yeah, I'm still trying to break out of this nice little shell I've got, and though i've kinda been at it for quite long, guess it's slowly but surely tumbling down! So yeah, but guess it would be nice sometimes for others to give a little help, but oh well, can't always expect it, can I?
Anyways, sigh, kinda agree with him about crowds lah. Like, hating crowds. But maybe I hate them for a different reason? Ionno. Sometimes when theres a big crowd of people, it just feels....oppressive. Suffocating. Like theres just no personal space, no way to hear your own thoughts, and it feels kinda like losing your identity... Its like how theres no "I" in a crowd, only "us" or "them". And I feel that it's cuz of that people start losing their minds... Like everyone starts reverting to their "herd mentality", and when one person does a stupid thing, the rest somehow are all brainless and start to follow... But what can I say? Guess I'm guilty of that once in a while too.
Guess another reason is just cuz of my own personality? Haha, like, I guess I'm just predisposed not to like interacting in like super large social settings where got lots of people one, and like I guess I really do prefer interacting in a super small group setting...but guess if you're reading this you already know that x]. But yeah, I'm still trying to break out of this nice little shell I've got, and though i've kinda been at it for quite long, guess it's slowly but surely tumbling down! So yeah, but guess it would be nice sometimes for others to give a little help, but oh well, can't always expect it, can I?
Sunday, October 18, 2009
Life update III
Hey! It's been a while x]
Anyways, exams are like, waay over! haha, but I guess now everyone is just choinging and preparing for PW... sigh, the dreaded PW...
But the main point of this post was kinda to talk about some stuff lor. Yeah, basically why people tend to assume the worst in others, how people jump to conclusions very quickly, and how people get defensive when they are accused of doing anything wrong. I guess we can always just attribute it to human nature and like, how we are just "born like that". But sometimes I think it's also the way we were brought up, and like the environmental factors that could give the right push, such that the person starts doubting others and finds it hard to trust anyone else...
I mean like, everyone really has their own thoughts and perceptions about what's right, and what's wrong, so who are we to judge who's more right or more wrong? Think that no perceptions are more correct than others (or at least, that's not up to us to judge...let God be the only judge!). Thus if anyone "accuses" us, we tend to think that we are more correct, to defend our actions and the way we do things or the way we behave. But sometimes I guess we really have to look critically at ourselves, since I think our own perceptions of ourselves are really clouded by our own preconceptions, and thus are blind to our own faults.
Thus, it takes a true friend to point them out x].
Anyways, exams are like, waay over! haha, but I guess now everyone is just choinging and preparing for PW... sigh, the dreaded PW...
But the main point of this post was kinda to talk about some stuff lor. Yeah, basically why people tend to assume the worst in others, how people jump to conclusions very quickly, and how people get defensive when they are accused of doing anything wrong. I guess we can always just attribute it to human nature and like, how we are just "born like that". But sometimes I think it's also the way we were brought up, and like the environmental factors that could give the right push, such that the person starts doubting others and finds it hard to trust anyone else...
I mean like, everyone really has their own thoughts and perceptions about what's right, and what's wrong, so who are we to judge who's more right or more wrong? Think that no perceptions are more correct than others (or at least, that's not up to us to judge...let God be the only judge!). Thus if anyone "accuses" us, we tend to think that we are more correct, to defend our actions and the way we do things or the way we behave. But sometimes I guess we really have to look critically at ourselves, since I think our own perceptions of ourselves are really clouded by our own preconceptions, and thus are blind to our own faults.
Thus, it takes a true friend to point them out x].
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
Random Thoughts IV
Gah, haha in the end I just can't blog everyday ><. Not that I don't have enough things that I do learn everyday, but its just...sometimes in all the busyness and stuff, just don't have a chance to blog lor.
Anyway, tomorrow is the last paper! Haha, time kinda passes quickly, doesn't it? Oh well, I suppose time is running out....and every second that passes brings me closer to You...
Rawr! Today is the worse day of my life >< gah. But nevermind that....haha. Guess sometimes there are more important things to life, and whenever we get down, the only way left is up, right?
Anyway, tomorrow is the last paper! Haha, time kinda passes quickly, doesn't it? Oh well, I suppose time is running out....and every second that passes brings me closer to You...
Rawr! Today is the worse day of my life >< gah. But nevermind that....haha. Guess sometimes there are more important things to life, and whenever we get down, the only way left is up, right?
Friday, October 2, 2009
Random Thoughts III
Heh, havn't been updating this really regularly x]. But then again, no loyal readers who still check my blog! yay!
Anyways, exams are here! And obviously I havn't been doing well Dx. Oh wells, what to expect? Will (try to) work harder from now on though! (YEAH!)
Haha, one thing I kinda learnt about life is that sometimes it's really up to us to make our lives more meaningful? I mean like it's only if we actively try to spice up our lives then we can make it more enjoyable and stuff right? There's always people complaining how "life sucks" or "life's so boring", but are they doing anything to make it interesting themselves?
So then, was thinking how bout I start trying to write something new that I learnt/did for every single day for the next 1 month? Haha, see if I can keep it up x].
So then, one thing that I have learnt today is how after a certain number of hours of doing work requiring super high mental ability, any more time spent is kinda wasted until the mind gets a rest. (I.e. total of 2 hrs 40 mins for econs, followed by another 3 hrs of chinese can KILL a person. Or at least make him wanna gourge out his eyes and chop off his arm >.<).
Till tomorrow!
Anyways, exams are here! And obviously I havn't been doing well Dx. Oh wells, what to expect? Will (try to) work harder from now on though! (YEAH!)
Haha, one thing I kinda learnt about life is that sometimes it's really up to us to make our lives more meaningful? I mean like it's only if we actively try to spice up our lives then we can make it more enjoyable and stuff right? There's always people complaining how "life sucks" or "life's so boring", but are they doing anything to make it interesting themselves?
So then, was thinking how bout I start trying to write something new that I learnt/did for every single day for the next 1 month? Haha, see if I can keep it up x].
So then, one thing that I have learnt today is how after a certain number of hours of doing work requiring super high mental ability, any more time spent is kinda wasted until the mind gets a rest. (I.e. total of 2 hrs 40 mins for econs, followed by another 3 hrs of chinese can KILL a person. Or at least make him wanna gourge out his eyes and chop off his arm >.<).
Till tomorrow!
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Random Thoughts II
You never really appreciate something till its gone.
And, as usual, we all probably have heard this before, time and time again, over and over again. But, as we all know, just having the knowledge of something is useless unless we really start to actively learn how to apply it. In all aspects of our life. And really learn to let it be such a close part of us such that no matter what, under any circumstances, we can apply it subconciously. But how many of us really do that ehh?
And, as usual, we all probably have heard this before, time and time again, over and over again. But, as we all know, just having the knowledge of something is useless unless we really start to actively learn how to apply it. In all aspects of our life. And really learn to let it be such a close part of us such that no matter what, under any circumstances, we can apply it subconciously. But how many of us really do that ehh?
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Random Thoughts
Hmm, was just thinking how cool it is that some people seem to be able to blog about things that are actually remotely interesting to read and think about, while others are just superficially blogging about things like fashion, what they bought and so on, and its a great pasttime wondering whether some people actually have brains to think about more useful and fulfilling things like the meaning of life, or stuff like that. Thats not to say that I spend all my time thinking about (emo-sounding) things like social problems and so on, but please, think about them once in a while!
Anyway, promos are coming in less than 2 weeks! Exciting ehh? Sigh, actually I really havn't been catching up on my work and all, so yeah, you could say i'm somewhat screwed x[. But anyway, there's waaay more to life than grades and work right? And anyway, this is just one teeny tiny portion of my life, and just comparing this time to a fraction of eternity, this is really nothing.
Hmm, someone said that I think too much. But then again, not thinking can make a person lose his "inner self", or so I believe. Think it's always a good thing to take some time to reflect on things that people say or do in your life, and try to learn from them! I admit that somehow the start of this year, my brain was really turned off or something, and I stopped thinking about such kind of stuff in my life. Then I realised that although I was "happy", I was actually caught up with the busyness of life and stopped thinking about things like how people are changing, or like some imperfections about myself that I could work to solve, or at least improve.
Maybe it was the new school setting, then people would not want to offend others by pointint out their flaws, but somehow I think that itself is one of the major flaws in Singapore's culture and education system. It's like how we don't really dare to speak up in public, for fear of "losing face" or like afraid to "hurt people". But in place of that, we thus lose a lot of exchanging of ideas, and lack of good communication skills and other problems appear, which is ultimately not benifical to society, right?
But think maybe the whole scene in Singapore is changing, with more people starting so speak up and speak out about their own ideals and beliefs, which is a good thing. However, the change seems to crawl along really slowly.
Oh well, but in the end, what really matters? I guess it's really up to the individual to figure out, like what is more important in their life lor. The material possesions that everyone aims to have, or the intangibles that are so abstract that one can only clutch at it, hoping that something has been grasp...
Anyway, promos are coming in less than 2 weeks! Exciting ehh? Sigh, actually I really havn't been catching up on my work and all, so yeah, you could say i'm somewhat screwed x[. But anyway, there's waaay more to life than grades and work right? And anyway, this is just one teeny tiny portion of my life, and just comparing this time to a fraction of eternity, this is really nothing.
Hmm, someone said that I think too much. But then again, not thinking can make a person lose his "inner self", or so I believe. Think it's always a good thing to take some time to reflect on things that people say or do in your life, and try to learn from them! I admit that somehow the start of this year, my brain was really turned off or something, and I stopped thinking about such kind of stuff in my life. Then I realised that although I was "happy", I was actually caught up with the busyness of life and stopped thinking about things like how people are changing, or like some imperfections about myself that I could work to solve, or at least improve.
Maybe it was the new school setting, then people would not want to offend others by pointint out their flaws, but somehow I think that itself is one of the major flaws in Singapore's culture and education system. It's like how we don't really dare to speak up in public, for fear of "losing face" or like afraid to "hurt people". But in place of that, we thus lose a lot of exchanging of ideas, and lack of good communication skills and other problems appear, which is ultimately not benifical to society, right?
But think maybe the whole scene in Singapore is changing, with more people starting so speak up and speak out about their own ideals and beliefs, which is a good thing. However, the change seems to crawl along really slowly.
Oh well, but in the end, what really matters? I guess it's really up to the individual to figure out, like what is more important in their life lor. The material possesions that everyone aims to have, or the intangibles that are so abstract that one can only clutch at it, hoping that something has been grasp...
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
Life update II
Sigh, promos are coming! And what AM I doing? zzZ.
RAWR didn't wanna make my blog into some emo rant place where I talk about all the crap and stuff in my life, but sigh, once in a while is fine right?
Anyways, sometimes I just piss myself off immensly. Its like, how I always do the things that I should not do, and not do the things that I do. And its infuriating how sometimes the heart is so separate from the mind, and sometimes you just want one side to shut up, but obviously fate is cruel, and life unfair, so the result is kinda predictable, and you fall into like, some spiral of doom or something. And you end up hating yourself for that.
And yeah, yeah. Sometimes you just know a lot of things, but somehow you really can't apply them. It's like, you know what's right, and what's wrong, but somehow the flesh is weak, and end up doing all the wrong things. For the wrong reasons. And after that, you become super regretful, and almost swear never to do it again. Yet somehow it creeps up slowly, and like engulfs you whole. And you end up hating yourself for that.
And other times, you do know that He's always there for you, but it's like, you're half blind or something, and really just can't see Him. And it kinda stretchs your Faith a lot. Like A LOT. And people stumble, people fall, but who'll be there to pick them up? Hopefully friends will be around, to provide support, to help when you fall. But again, I suppose sometimes you really do walk alone? Well, as in not exactly alone, cuz He's there, but like, alone as in physically alone...which makes some people kinda lonely. And those kind of feelings aren't very good to habour. For too long, that is. It's kinda like, an infected wound, when left too long will fester, and like, kill the whole body...
Oh well, pray the doctor will come and help me soon....
RAWR didn't wanna make my blog into some emo rant place where I talk about all the crap and stuff in my life, but sigh, once in a while is fine right?
Anyways, sometimes I just piss myself off immensly. Its like, how I always do the things that I should not do, and not do the things that I do. And its infuriating how sometimes the heart is so separate from the mind, and sometimes you just want one side to shut up, but obviously fate is cruel, and life unfair, so the result is kinda predictable, and you fall into like, some spiral of doom or something. And you end up hating yourself for that.
And yeah, yeah. Sometimes you just know a lot of things, but somehow you really can't apply them. It's like, you know what's right, and what's wrong, but somehow the flesh is weak, and end up doing all the wrong things. For the wrong reasons. And after that, you become super regretful, and almost swear never to do it again. Yet somehow it creeps up slowly, and like engulfs you whole. And you end up hating yourself for that.
And other times, you do know that He's always there for you, but it's like, you're half blind or something, and really just can't see Him. And it kinda stretchs your Faith a lot. Like A LOT. And people stumble, people fall, but who'll be there to pick them up? Hopefully friends will be around, to provide support, to help when you fall. But again, I suppose sometimes you really do walk alone? Well, as in not exactly alone, cuz He's there, but like, alone as in physically alone...which makes some people kinda lonely. And those kind of feelings aren't very good to habour. For too long, that is. It's kinda like, an infected wound, when left too long will fester, and like, kill the whole body...
Oh well, pray the doctor will come and help me soon....
Thursday, September 3, 2009
Life update
Hey!
Haha, my EOM went not bad I think. Kinda proud of the work I did! (Which is kinda rare haha, cuz usually I end up screwing up everything I do =.=)
Anyway, lately we all have been really really busy and stuff haha, and luckily my emotions have been giving me a break (I.e. I don't feel emo or sad or angry or whatever haha). So kinda happy lor. But suppose I'm starting to feel the stress already...its like, I don't FEEL like working, but no choice, cuz of the stupid promos, which is like a nightmare. Plus WR is due on 2nd week of term 4, which is INSANE! As though we don't have enough to do...
Think I'll screw up quite a lot leh, havn't really had time to revise a lot...especially the semester 1 work. At least semester 2 work I had like, actively tried to catch up, so its way better lor, but I wish I could say the same for sem 1 work ><.
So then, kinda taking a break now from studying (heh, it's obvious, ain't it? If not I wouldn't even be here blogging x]). Trying some motivation system by allowing myself to watch 8 Simple Rules on YouTube after doing a certain amount of work. Haha, I love those vids man! Haha, maybe I kinda can relate to them? Heh.
Yeah, so anyway, times about up, time to get back to mugging! Seeya soon!
Haha, my EOM went not bad I think. Kinda proud of the work I did! (Which is kinda rare haha, cuz usually I end up screwing up everything I do =.=)
Anyway, lately we all have been really really busy and stuff haha, and luckily my emotions have been giving me a break (I.e. I don't feel emo or sad or angry or whatever haha). So kinda happy lor. But suppose I'm starting to feel the stress already...its like, I don't FEEL like working, but no choice, cuz of the stupid promos, which is like a nightmare. Plus WR is due on 2nd week of term 4, which is INSANE! As though we don't have enough to do...
Think I'll screw up quite a lot leh, havn't really had time to revise a lot...especially the semester 1 work. At least semester 2 work I had like, actively tried to catch up, so its way better lor, but I wish I could say the same for sem 1 work ><.
So then, kinda taking a break now from studying (heh, it's obvious, ain't it? If not I wouldn't even be here blogging x]). Trying some motivation system by allowing myself to watch 8 Simple Rules on YouTube after doing a certain amount of work. Haha, I love those vids man! Haha, maybe I kinda can relate to them? Heh.
Yeah, so anyway, times about up, time to get back to mugging! Seeya soon!
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
learning to walk with Him
Haha, just realised the retardedness of my last post's title. Anyway, had bio spa today, which was do-able lah, but maybe I screwed up a bit. Oh well. Ain't gonna divulge any other info though x].
So then, what else is happening? Managed to finish EoM yesterday, which was kinda super exciting for me, since like, I was damn proud when I finished. Although I bet got a lot of things to improve and stuff....And maybe the points I gave were super repetitive and like kinda superficial? Oh well, I don't know.
Besides school and the more common and boring stuff, guess I've been quite well. But still praying to learn to grow closer to Him... Sometimes its like, either lost in the whole academic focus thing, like with everything going on at the same time, then start to forget who's REALLY in charge of everything haha. That's why maybe I still struggle with issues like these? But suppose everyone goes through it sometime or another, but usually they come out for the better.
Anyway, guess that everything that I do, I should be doing it for His glory, and not for any personal gain...and guess its also like, a daily thing that we struggle with. So, gonna pray for Him to help, cuz with Him, all things are possible x].
Yeaps, thats all for today!
So then, what else is happening? Managed to finish EoM yesterday, which was kinda super exciting for me, since like, I was damn proud when I finished. Although I bet got a lot of things to improve and stuff....And maybe the points I gave were super repetitive and like kinda superficial? Oh well, I don't know.
Besides school and the more common and boring stuff, guess I've been quite well. But still praying to learn to grow closer to Him... Sometimes its like, either lost in the whole academic focus thing, like with everything going on at the same time, then start to forget who's REALLY in charge of everything haha. That's why maybe I still struggle with issues like these? But suppose everyone goes through it sometime or another, but usually they come out for the better.
Anyway, guess that everything that I do, I should be doing it for His glory, and not for any personal gain...and guess its also like, a daily thing that we struggle with. So, gonna pray for Him to help, cuz with Him, all things are possible x].
Yeaps, thats all for today!
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
cupping when i'm supposed to be mugging
Hmm, was thinking that theres so much improvements that can be made to blogger and stuff but I suppose maybe Google just wants to leave it like that >.<. Its like, urg, me trying to customize this blog and stuff is equivalent to me walking to the moon and back...which does say a lot, doesn't it? x]
Anyways, kinda figured that if I screw up my promos, I probably deserve it. Still no motivation to study! Like it's so zzZ lor! Anyway, hopefully studying with some people might help, but definitely no small groups (3's a crowd!), or I won't ever pay attention with all the blah blah blah around me. Oh well, I guess I really DO need to start, as a friend kindly reminded me that mugging for one chapter a day, you still won't be able to finish all the subjects. How bout 10 chapters a day ehh?
So yeah well, I really should go, and there isn't much happening in my life right now anyways, so why bother wasting time reading other people's blogs when you should be mugging right now ehh?
Shoo!
Anyways, kinda figured that if I screw up my promos, I probably deserve it. Still no motivation to study! Like it's so zzZ lor! Anyway, hopefully studying with some people might help, but definitely no small groups (3's a crowd!), or I won't ever pay attention with all the blah blah blah around me. Oh well, I guess I really DO need to start, as a friend kindly reminded me that mugging for one chapter a day, you still won't be able to finish all the subjects. How bout 10 chapters a day ehh?
So yeah well, I really should go, and there isn't much happening in my life right now anyways, so why bother wasting time reading other people's blogs when you should be mugging right now ehh?
Shoo!
Monday, August 24, 2009
Starting on a new clean slate x]
Haha, I figured that the old emo self was waaaay over. Obviously not meaning that I don't exactly have like times where I feel down and crappy and totally suicidal haha, but that aside, I figured that the past is unrepresentative of the present! I mean like, I suppose life's worth living more than we can ever imagine x].
Oh by the way, I just KNOW you're still thinking about the suicidal thing heh. But its not a problem haha, I mean.... well I suppose God has taken care of that x]. Like no way in this life am I gonna let Him down and give up and kill myself man! There's just no way! So shoo, stop thinking bout it! xD
But yeah, why the sudden urge to blog, you might ask. Well, every new day brings a new thought and new feelings, new knowledge, new experiences. So I suppose the same goes for blogs? Haha, not making any sense xP.
Hmm, but I suppose this is yet another attempt to make something that is both public, yet private, open, yet closed, thoughtful, yet free (which kinda doesn't really make sense anyway haha). So, who knows? Everything's worth a try yeah?
Anyway, ain't gonna publicize this heh. Since I suppose I don't want to attract people to read, just for the sake of attracting people to read. Anyway, heh I suppose my friends will find my blog sooner or later, and they can do the publicizing for me ehh? x] (yes that's right. YOU xD)
So then, with exams round the corner and people becoming crazy, I shall too return to slogging my way through what is known as EoM, aka evil reincarnate! And hopefully some good would come of it x].
And yes, you have a nice day too!
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